So inservice was great and we have a really good team. Besides the normal bureaucracy and politics things looked hopeful, although the new time clock system SUCKS! So we finally got our passwords for the phone, even though ours still doesn't work in our office, and for the computer so we can check our campus email. We also got our DHS faculty/staff ID cards which was super cool despite the awful driver license-esque picture. I even figured I could put up with all the rules about not getting personal, i.e. don't ask don't tell type stuff, and maintaining a strict professional aura about ourselves. All the other stuff we heard about during inservice was for teachers to worry about and care about, not us. Fine with me, I lifted it up to the Lord and will allow HIM to guide my words, hands, whatever.
Then the students came, they are awesome! I am both shocked and disgusted by a lot of the things I have seen and heard but that is for another blog. Anyway, today I was just DONE! I am sick, literally, tired, literally, and just DONE with all of it and on top of it I haven't seen my kids or husband all week it seems! Matt has tried to make this transition as painless as possible by doing the entire morning routine, the entire afternoon routine, cooking dinner, doing bath and the boy's bedtime and even brought me Starbucks on my 15 minutes of lunch break, TWICE! Wow, what an awesome husband I have, thank GOD! Even with all of this and the kids doing fine and first grade being great for Noah, I am just DONE with it all......and then this. (copied from an email I sent to the dear friend that sent the word to me)
I read the first part of this earlier at work very briefly and thought it was great but as the day got harder I forgot about it. The end of the day I have been ready to quit for a number of reasons. Sickness, stress on me and my family, etc have made me really doubt if I am doing the right thing and I was just about to throw my hands up in the air when I felt like I should check my email again. The Lord showed me your email so I thought I would read it again and (I don't say this often) "oh my GOD!" This word had to be just for me, both of them, and it had to be the Lord that showed you you to send it to me. I can't say thank you enough to you for sending it and to the Lord for once again making HIS way clear and known to me and my family. It was just the grace and faith boost I needed!! Blessings to you and lots of love!
So now that I've sparked your interest, here is the email....
Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns -- August 28, 2008:Arise in the Spirit and make your requests known. Bring your concernsto Me and then yield to My leading, for I will certainly show you theway, says the Lord. Refuse to allow yourself to stand still and shakein your boots due to doubt and fear that cause you to stumble infaith. Keep your heart in strong belief that I hear and answer yourprayers. Encourage yourself in the Word and stand on that truth.Philippians 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayerand supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made knownto God.
What the Lord Is Saying Today
August 28, 2008. You have My permission to go ahead. You and I knowthe risk you are taking. You can rest assured that if your heart doesnot condemn you in this regard, then you have My blessings to proceed. Why? Because you have a good heart. It has been shaped and seasonedas you have sought Me in so many difficult situations. You havetherefore come into a most trusted relationship with Me. In yourheart you know what is right and wrong have been tested and tried overand over again. So why worry now that you will miss My will? Let Mesay this plainly. You have My blessings. Now go do it.1 John 3:21-22 "Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we haveconfidence before God. " Ras Robinson*
August 28, 2008. You have been rolling over and over in your mind if you have made the right decision. What good does that do now? It iscausing you regret, and wondering about your next decision. You don'tneed procrastination as to your next move. You prayed and felt thatwas what you were to do. Don't rethink now. The move has been madeand now there is nothing to do but start from where you are. Don'tdwell on what has already happened; that you think may not work. Itis going to be better than you think it is. You heard Me right; itjust feels strange because it is new.James 1:7-8 " For truly, let not such a person imagine that he willreceive anything [he asks for] from the Lord, [For being as he is] aman of two minds (hesitating, dubious, irresolute), [he is] unstableand unreliable and uncertain about everything [he thinks, feels,decides]. Bev Robinson**
Isn't God good?!! All I can say is "wow." HE loves me that much....could it be any clearer? Let this be a reminder to us all....when we are all done and ready to throw in the towl, HE loves us so much that HE will light our path and clear the way. Be blessed!!
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